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    October 20

    胆怯

    看gossip girl,S当了宣传之后给一位明星朋友打气。我觉得,我现在需要这样的一个人,或者说,我胆怯了。

    明天打算上美思乐,去散心。这是假期的最后一次出行。回来之后,我将要在泰国自己找个学校工作。

    我觉得,我有点应付不过来。上次和Rudolf聊天,他说他受不了thai culture,其实我也是。现在,我成了没人管的人,某哩嘚差点说出要我回国的屁话。而我,也沦落到居然要自己为自己找工作。这让我觉得,不仅thai culture恶心,某些chai culture也好不到哪儿去。没人知道我在泰国的工作地点和联系地址,包括那位本应对我的安全和工作负责的哩嘚。我估计我要是在家被绑架了,他连怎么来我家都不知道,哼。

    不知道是我倒霉还是我真的错了。反正工作的事情莫名其妙了。】】

    现在,我要在一个我不会说话,不认识路,不知道怎么申请工作,有什么工作地点都不知道的地方开始找工作了。我有点怕。很怕,或者说。我开始想念那个像雄鸡一样的地盘,和那地盘上的人们。可是如果时光倒流,我还是会选择出来混吧。神啊,请你务必,让大家都幸福啊……

    还有,我不得不换电话号码了。上次去普吉和曼谷,无意中泄露了我的电话号和Email(应为当时对方要这些资料的时候我觉得是很正当合理的,就给了)。电脑修好以后,我将换个新号码。唉,不可避免地拈花惹草的人生啊,我。。。。。。

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    亲爱的,你在和我有时差的地方,听着我也一样不懂的话,过着我什么忙都帮不上的生活,以前还会觉得尽管我们离得很远很远,对彼此的生活仍然很熟悉很熟悉,可现在,我在我们从小长大的地方,每天上下班会路过你家,可我看不到你,我的倔强坚强冷静理智尖刀利刃色彩斑斓都毫无用武之地,无论你好或者不好,我都帮不上什么……亲爱的,请你过得好,请你开开心心的过完剩下的七个月,我在这片土地上等你回来。
    Oct. 23

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